Robin is (a) Dick
by CreativityFlow
Summary: It was only a nickname. Sure, it wasn't the nicest nickname, but Robin didn't seem to mind, so she never gave it a second thought. She should have known Batman wouldn't approve.


"Watch it, Boy Blunder," Artemis growls before readjusting her aim and letting an arrow fly.

It hits the target with a resounding thud, and Robin jumps down from the rafters with a smirk pulling at his lips.

"You're a centimeter to the left," he tells her, and back flips out of the way before her first can make contact.

"I was not," she huffs, but stares at the target to be sure. "What are you doing in here, anyway? I thought you and KF had a date."

"It's not a date," the boy grumbles. "Besides, Wally is running late, so I thought I'd screw with you for a bit."

Artemis rolls her eyes. "Dick."

Robin stiffens, quickly turning on her. "What?"

"I called you a dick." The blonde arches an eyebrow. "What's the matter, Robin? Don't tell me no ones ever called you a dick before."

The acrobat forces a laugh. "Actually, you'd be surprised at how often they do."

Artemis scoffs, and knocks another arrow. "Get out of here before I decide I want to practice with a moving target."

The ebony haired boy casts her a suspicious glance before nodding and disappearing.

x~x

Artemis leans against the counter, watching M'gann decorate the sugar cookies on the counter.

In the main room, she can hear Wally and Robin playing video games, the sound of gunfire and playful bantering proving to be a calming background noise.

M'gann sets the last of the cookies down, so that they're displayed prettily on the counter.

"All done," she announces proudly.

Artemis reaches for one and chews happily. "You're really getting the hang of this baking thing," she tells the Martian. "I suggest you hide them before you know who finds them, though."

M'gann giggles and snatches a cookie herself. "Go ahead, call them in."

"If you insist," the blonde shrugs, then raises her voice. "Hey, Kid Mouth, Dickwad, get in here if you want cookies."

Wally had already started running, but comes to an abrupt halt as he enters the kitchen. Momentum and his socks fling him into the wall, and he sits there in a daze for a second. Robin turns the corner just in time to watch his friend hit, and he doubles over laughing. Artemis joins in, but M'gann is quick to offer assistance, which Wally gratefully accepts.

"Wait, wait, hold up," he says, holding up his hands and looking between Robin and Artemis. "What...? Did she just- and did you-?"

Artemis rolls her eyes. "Don't tell me that's the only time you've heard someone call Robin a dick," she snorts. "I do it all the time."

Wally gapes at her before whirling on Robin. "Dude?"

The Boy Wonder smirks and reaches around the speedster to grab a cookie. "Calm down, Walls. No harm, no foul, right?"

Wally spares another look at Artemis before he bursts into laughter. Robin is smiling too, and from the twitch of his lips, Artemis just knows he's holding in one of those creepy cackles he usually saves for missions.

"She's right, Rob," Wally laughs. "You are a dick."

There's a gust of wind, and when the two girls blink, they're alone in the kitchen, nothing but cookie crumbs and the fading sound of laughter left behind.

x~x

For once, Artemis is the first to arrive for debriefing. Robin was finishing up getting into costume, Wally was cramming as much food as possible into his mouth, Kaldur was finishing up a private meeting with his King, and M'gann and Conner were having a make out session (sorry, fixing up the Super Bike) in the garage.

Which means she is alone. With Batman.

Artemis plays with her hair while Batman types on the holographic keyboard, and she tries really hard to not think of the silence as awkward.

She fills her mind with stuff she has to do when she returns home. She's running low on laundry, and she has a paper due next week for her English class. Her sisters birthday is coming up, and although Artemis really tries to separate herself from her less than stellar family, she needs to order that Alice in Wonderland coffee mug she saw online.

She's so engrossed in her thoughts, Artemis doesn't realize that Robin has entered the room, and is now standing next to her.

"Hey," he calls, snapping his fingers in front of her face. "Anyone home in there?"

She jumps slightly, and sets her steely grey eyes on him. "Knock it off, dick."

And just like that, Artemis knows she's made the worst mistake of her life.

The temperature around them drops fifty degrees. Robin visibly pales. Batman's shoulders stiffen and when he whirls around to face them, his cape makes a terrifying swishing noise as it drags along the ground.

"Oh, shit," Artemis whispers.

"I'm sorry," Batman says, not sounding sorry at all (although, this is probably the only time she's ever heard Batman even say sorry, in any way, shape, or form). "What did you just say?" It's a demand, and Artemis gulps as she stares into the dark, expressionless mask.

Robin shifts beside her, and Batman turns on his partner. "Explain. Now."

Robin cackles, but it's forced, and wrong. The sound makes her sick to her stomach. "Artemis thinks I'm mean, so she renamed me Dickwad. Dick for short."

Slowly, the electrified air starts to calm down, but the tension is still enough to suffocate her. Artemis breathes deeply through her nose, trying to calm her racing heart. "I, um, I'm sorry, Batman, Sir," she rushes. "It won't happen again. Promise."

Batman glares at her for a moment. "It won't. And if it does, you'll be washing your mouth out with soap."

She gapes, and Robin laughs, that creepy, carefree laugh.

It stops abruptly when the Bat Glare lands on him.

"No patrol for three days," Batman decides, and although Robin opens his mouth to protest, he doesn't. "And you are washing your mouth out with soap."

"Awe, man," Robin sighs, but doesn't fight it.

Artemis' mind goes to static.

Did Batman just give Robin a punishment of washing his mouth out with soap?

And did he seriously just threaten to do same to her?

She watches as Robin crosses his arms and sulks while Batman gives him the tiniest of smirks before turning back to his work on the screens.

Honestly. How did anyone put up with these damn bats?


End file.
